Monday, November 11, 2013


The wood's finally done! My neighbour just popped his head over the fence again, I offered him the wood I couldn't split, he came over and we both chucked it over to his side.
One of the best things about that though, is for the last, say 13 years I've been scared to death of my neighbours. After having my mental illmess I pretty much holed myself up and avoided everyone in the "real world". I guess it's quite sad, coz he's a big friendly Maori man who's knew my parents before I came along in 1978 and I used to play with their kids back in the eighties. Back then when dog regulations weren't so strict and we didn't have fences, our properties were all kinda open and we used to all play at each others houses.

It's been like that for a while though, even last year when I moved into my new flat across the road, I'd kinda run from the door into my car, or walk hurridly past the neighbouring flats windows.
2013 has been a bit different.
Im less scared this year. Earlier this year I went to the neighbours church for a while and that helped alot.
I've also developed a couple of new friendships which has been out of this world. I'm still abit on edge sometimes, like I'm totally gonna hurt someone by being insensitive or being too scared or jaded to be there at a time they really need me. Or am I just over thinking this? There's no real formula to it I spose, and overthinking it is just gonna kill it. Sometimes I just have to turn off my brain in certain situations coz it does more harm than good. 

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