Well I watched all 6 parts to this and totally ended freaking myself out. Especially when she said she saw people in Hell who had unforgiveness in their hearts.... there was someone in particular I had to forgive. Man, but I just lay in bed last night feeling like I was losing my mind... and it's scary, because I spent 6 or so years mentally unwell, so I just lay there trying to plan what I would do if it happened. What I would say to my new boss, who I would send Catherine to making sure I did it all early before I got to sick to do anything like last time. And having flash backs of the last time. I remember it all well, which surprises some people. You know what? I just can't help wanting to die... but not in a suicidal way. And I'm doing mental gymnastics trying to get my brain to think the way everybody elses does. Like how time seems to come AT them, and they totally DO NOT want to die. Like they want to live to 90. Well, I was like lying in bed this morning trying to be normal and failing, then finally after like hours in incapacitation, lying there confused, I finally picked up my bible and read what was there. It was Corinthians and it was telling people about the afterlife, about how we get new bodies, how our old bodies die in weakness but our new ones are raised in strength and man, I was so relieved. They were talking about dying like it was something THEY were looking forward to. AND I CANT WAIT TO GO. In a good way. Glad I've got my blog. Cant talk about this in everyday life. And it's not that i' m gonna go kill myself! Just look forward to seeing Jesus and my Dad again. Get out of this stink hole full of evil people who rape and kill... or even just use their words to destroy. So looking forward to heaven, can't wait, can't wait, can't wait.
Creative and arty... love to read, learn new things, and a bit of a fruitloop, but oh well, I join the cry .."I'm a blogger... hear me ramble!"
One daughter, Miss Catherine M. My little social butterfly, and my complete antithisis.