Tuesday, February 16, 2010

is it only me?

Last year I saw a psychologist who told me one of my tendencies was black and white thinking. I can see it playing out the last couple of weeks. In the last fortnight I have been at the point of moving out completely. "This is too hard... things will NEVER get better" I think to myself. Calling my keyworker to come and look after me... "I'm giving up on life!" The only thing stopping me from doing something dumb is the timely "keep at it" messages I keep getting from God through word for today, or a radio message.
With my new envolvement with humanity, taking Catherine to school each day I felt at times I was holding on by a thread, and that thread was prayer. At one time I locked myself in my room, set my alarm and stared into that big black universe quoting scripture to hold me together. By Monday I was exhausted and slept all day. And what do you know? I was fine. I only needed a real good sleep and an "atta girl" from the Lord in the form of a scripture given to me which had just come to mind half an hour earlier. And so, all of a sudden, the world looks rosier and God is with me still, good times and bad.
I find life quite hard... for no apparent reason! I'm not the only one am I??

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