Sometimes I have conversations in my head about God. And the thing about that is, I know He's listening to everything I say... AS I think them. Sometimes they are bad things too. Sometimes I think what's the point? Things are never going to be good because God want's us to grow spiritually so He's gonna be bringing bad things into our lives for the rest of our lives! so there's no point planning or dreaming for better days because things will always be bad... till we die... so I want to DIE.
Then I realise I may not have things in quite the right perspective, because I look down at my plate and I realise I'm eating a toasted cheese and ham sandwhich with feta and spinach dip made from Baker's Delight bread. And I look up a bit and there's fresh flowers on the table and a cake tin with intricately painted scene that someone hand painted. Not to mention if I shut off my mind to my own thoughts I can hear birds outside and it would actually be quite a pleasant day if I just decided to enjoy it!
And then I say sorry, and ask God to help me get a better perspective on life.
And hey! my Datsun. She's all legal now. Got the Warrant and Regestration yesterday and 3rd party insurance. I am spending the rest of the day cleaning her up so I can get her evaluated for full insurance. It's a good day really...