Hello internet!
Just been across the road this morning to visit my honey, Mark. Haven't shared much about him, but he's my next door neighbour so he's quite handy :)
And yes, we've moved the wedding forward to August the 16th. So only about 2 months or so to go.
I just had to jump onto my blog and share this though...
Isn't it nice to be loved? And cherished?
After all I've been through, do you know how it feels to have a grown man literally skip back down the driveway after seeing you off because he can't believe how lucky he is? Literally pinch himself because he can't believe he actually got you?
And to have a God who put it all together even though you were dead set on not marrying because you were convinced marriage sux and all men are arseholes?
And my wedding will be very symbolic and special, and glorify God to the max!

Racism

So I'm sitting here at the computer just now, waiting to wake up, and Catherine comes up to me and asks me what 'ching chong' means. It's a racist term Catherine. "What's racist?" So I just spent the last minute or two trying to explain to Catherine aged 9 what racism is. I guess that's pretty cool aye? She didn't know. Well, we live in South Auckland, a melting pot of cultures. I don't know why I never explained this stuff to her before... it's just been christianity all the way I guess. I remember trying to explain to her what feminism is... but it just went totally over her hear as well.
Anyway, I thought I'd squeeze in a little blog post before I head off :)

I tagged my cousin in this image on Facebook by the way... he lives in Takapuna and I live in South Auckland.... gotta laugh.

Sewing late at night, but grateful for every bit of income that comes in. A friend gave me three jackets of take up, and I'm trying to do a really good job... coz they look really flash!!

She also wants me to reupholster a couch for her. I told her I couldn't afford the nightclass fees and shes offered to pay for my nightclasses. So that's cool. I imagine it will come off the price of upholstering her couch, but fair enough! So looks like my work is going to be very varied, which is cool. I like variety! 

And tomorrow I'm going to be trying to finish that big wall, before the bad weather sets in. Yup, still not finished yet! My van back door handle broke and in the end I had to get a new part in because my van is getting too old to get second hand parts. Poor thing! I'm going to need a new one eventually, but how? I'm really gonna have to trust God with that one!

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And we're still hanging onto summer here in NZ. Starting to get a bit chillier though...

The Lord's Provision

So.... apparently I have "stepped out in faith". I never realised that. I just thought that I'd learnt a truth. That God is my provider, that He's spent the last 6 months providing for my needs when we had nothing, and that's all the proof I'll need that He'll continue to do it. I didn't see it as a big "leap of faith".

But anyway, I had a prophecy given to me (my neighbour has the coolest spiritual gift ever), that because I had stepped out in faith, God would respond and bring in heaps more work. And, well, since I cancelled my benefit 4 weeks ago the work has steadily trickled in. And it is a bit miraculous because

1. I have not been advertising

2. My website is currently down

3. I have had next to no sign jobs in the last 6 months

Cool, huh?

...really high!

So I sent Linda a text saying "send me that picture of me up REALLY high!"... and then I got this. Geeze, it doesn't look high at all! But I was moaning and groaning the whole time... it just seems so much higher when youre up there!!

Anyway, slow progress on this wall, but getting there. Infact Ive finished the logo in the area you can see there and Im onto marking the last line of text... Yay!

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And I've been back at Mum's for about a week now... and it's been ok! Being away at the flat must have been really good for me and taught me alot. I've put alot of boundaries in place I think, including my work life. My (old) next door neighbour has the spiritual gift of prophecy ( if you believe in that, which I do) and prophesied my business would do really well since I was taking a step of faith and flat out cancelling my benifet... and so far so good. I gave this quote for a van and pretty much tripled my usual price, and guess what? they still came back! Was not expecting that really.

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And YAAAAAY! again! someone shouted me tickets to go see this guy. Daniel Walker author of God in a Brothel. I bought this for myself for christmas. Hes a kiwi guy who runs an organisation that rescues sex slaves out of brothels in Asia ( and the US too). There are 20 to 30 million slaves in the world today. More today than when slavery was abolished, and most of them are in the sex industry. 

His website is NVADER . Donate if you can... and pray!

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And I'm working away at another dancing dress for Catherine. I'm tempted to post the preliminary attempts but I better not. I'll wait till I've done the draft pattern (and shown the teacher, coz it's all really serious you know).

Well, I wrote a blog post on christian feminism a while ago. It wasn't very good. I just rambled a bit really.

But here's a really good one! I enjoyed reading this.

now... not so busy!

So on Sunday I was preparing for the busiest week ever, wondering how I would get it all done before Christmas. 

Now... not so much!

I had this wall to paint and signwrite for my daughters dancing studio. My friend, Linda, graciously offered to help me with, which I really appreciated, coz it was a whole lot more enjoyable having someone to help out.

As you can see, we painted it, but the teachers decided that some of the boards need patching and nailing down before signwriting it... so now it's not an urgent, before-christmas deadline.

Yay! (it's sweltering hot and I get head aches in the sun)

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Job 2. I had to do a creative project for this years church Christmas Experience. I was worried it was a bit too rough, but it'll be one of many projects so it may be ok. (That bottom rip will be cut off).

I find the flustered mum and the naughty/crying kids funny, and I just realised I get my sense of humour from all the Giles cartoon books I read as a kid.

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And this is Catherine on Saturday dancing at the end of year School competition

Shed grown out of her dress a bit, but it  was alright... and she ended coming out 3rd in the beginners section! which I was not expecting at all!! Maybe I should give her some credit sometimes.

PS> Me and Catherine have designed her next years dress already! I'd put the sketches up but I don't want to give too much away... or maybe I will later on. We'll see.

My goodness our garden is a mess... it's been literally 4 months since I've touched it. And insead of gardening I sat down briefly and took these photos.

Also ironically, it's summer in New Zealand and I put these snowflakes on the windows for Christmas!

Catherine was Mary this year in the Sunday School play too.

And I'm still taking photos of my pottery, in all its lumpyness!

I woke up at 7.30 this morning and I feel great!...

Is something I never would have said a month ago!
In fact I'd wake up groggily at 8.15 and not fully wake up untill, say, 10 am.

So... I've had to put some new boundaries in place. Catherines new friend starting arriving at our house at around 7.30 in the morning and because I couldn't wake up, they'd go hard out baking in my kitchen, using all my ingredients, leaving out all the packets and leaving me a big mess for when I got up. And helping themselves to breakfast, half eating stuff and waisting it.
At first I didn't want to be a big meany, so I let them. But I would get angrier and angrier every morning until I realised, It's MY house dammit. I pay the damn rent and I don't have to put up with this!

But even to get up early enough to supervise them took a big change.

I've been going to church study groups, youth group, craft group sometimes 3 or 4 times a week and getting home at sometimes 9.30 at night and not falling asleep till sometimes 11 or 12. No wonder I couldn't get up.
So all of a sudden I decided, ok, Catherines bedtime is going back to a strict 8pm, and mine is a strict 9pm.
(I went to bed regually at 9pm pre-2001 and my life was great! And I was relatively successful in life. Ahhh... those were the days.)
So basically no more mid-week church activities for me any more! I can't handle it. Let alone the petrol! On $20 a week food alone, I have a right to say no and just look after me and Catherine for now. Especially while shes so young.

Guy Fawks 2013

So I thought for a while there that if God wasn't providing for starving Africans, then he wouldn't provide for me. I mean, I not more important than them, am I?

So every time my self-appointed shopping day (Monday) came around, and I didn't have my self-appointed ammount I thought I needed, I self righteously pointed my finger at God with a big "SEE?".

Although, the thing is, I didn't really get to, even though I almost looked forward to it, because quite often the night before Monday, money would turn up, with a big "Humph! you win this round!" from me.

It stopped happening so dramatically when I realised that although I might not have my self appointed ammount on my self appointed day, I still had food in the cupboard, which still kinda qualifies as "provision".

Anyway long story short... I found out God's gonna provide. Well He does for me anyway. Still not sure why He doesn't for the starving Africans but that's another story.

So it finally occurred to me to write down each week all the ways that God turns up each week, so I can look back on it with a good story to tell.

For example, here's last weeks list of the things that turned up:

Catherines Dad gave me: $10 petrol. $10 cash. A whole roast lamb, rubbish bags, washing powder, tuna and mouth wash.

Nana gave me $20 for chopping wood. (which doesn't always happen, she just decided to this week and I don't ask for money or tell her we need it)

Nana also gave us some weetbix and tuna.

On Saturday we had Guy Fawks with friends (see pictures!) instead of buying our own which can cost at least $40, and also had a pot luck tea including a yummy BBQ, salads and desert!

On Sunday I helped out a friend a she bought me a sausage roll. (It all counts)

And this happens week after week!

Well, Spring is here in New Zealand, and my cuttings have taken root over winter! This is four twigs from a pretty miniture rose that are now budding.

I see other blogs, mainly the US really, talking about Summer ending. I started following a blog by a girl who LOVES winter and relished the first day of snow. Shes actually a kind of clairvoyant - mystic type person. As a christian I would class her as "New Age"... but she wouldn't label herself that. It all goes in conjunction with a friend I met up with recently who has left the Christian faith. In her words, now she is happier, less judgemental, feels less guilty and more free. Say what?  And as I read that blog I mentioned, she also experiences the beauty in life... snow on the skin, wind in the hair, the different flavours of food.

Well, why shouldn't I be experiencing all that too? I want to experience beauty, and peace, and enjoy simple things like lying in bed and listening to the breeze outside while the morning light flickers on the wall. Shouldn't the christian have all the joys and simple pleasures in life too? I'm going to make a serious effort to take a leaf out of the New Age book and enjoy the things I love.

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Here's a spider plant I took from a 'baby'. It's grown a wee bit over winter. I plan to put it here eventually..

...a long term project.

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And guess what? In complaining I didn't even loose a kg in The Biggest Looser, I ended up coming 3rd place! Yippee! (Money!) I want to buy some beeswax and stuff for making homemade lip balm, so maybe I ll put it towards that

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And after spending all winter collecting our toilet rolls it's time to put them to use and start planting seeds for the coming season. These are all filled with seeds I saved from plants... marigolds, capsicum and parsley. So I don't know how these will go.

May go to the Plant Barn today and get some more potting mix and seeds.

Feminism and the bible 2

I just thought I'd add something to my last post on this. When I was talking as women as servants, I obviously wasn't meaning literally that women are only good as actual servants, like cleaners and waitresses (not that there's anything wrong with those jobs). But in the christian world, lets say, the ministers and pastors, they are actually the servants of us all. The congregation are servants to each other, and the minister ministers (serves) everyone! But in the eyes of those outside the church... they are the big kahunas. But no. Doesn't work that way within the church.
Not everyone thinks that women are allowed to be Pastors according to certain parts of the bible. That's another debate. But lets just say in the Bible there are women prophets, women decons and a woman apostle. So women can have postitions of (so called) power, let's say, leadership. But as christians, they need to have a servant heart. That's really what I meant but forgot to expand on.

Feminism and the Bible

As I see it, feminism is basically the desire for equality between men and women.
People often think that feminism and the bible are at odds, since they assume the bible teaches that women are of less value than men, sort of like second rate citizens. Alot of it is based on an incorrect understanding of  Ephesians 5.22-33 and men for years have misused this verse to arrogantly assert their authority over women. (Conveniently ignoring the second directive for husbands to lay down their lives for their wives, as Jesus lay down His for the church) But this verse is talking about our roles as men and women, not our value, or our basic human rights. Men and women are different,  but that doesn't mean that one is less important than the other.
In fact, the bible teaches that women were created to be a "helper" to man. Now if you took that thought to it's extreme, who really plays the more important role? The one who helps, or the one who needs the help? But no. Neither is greater than the other. As the bible says, "There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3.28)                ".
And also, in this power hungry world, "helper" doesn't seem to be a role of equality. But Jesus himself came as a "helper", and as the Bible's commands are all based on love, everything gets tipped on it's head. Jesus, Lord and King came as a servant, proclaiming it as one of the greatest roles you could have, man or woman. And He led by example.

Holy Moly I can't make up my mind!! Now I have a friend who wants to start up a handmade business with me... so do I do it and really quit my signwriting business or not?

And I've been trying not to blog about the inner workings of my deep and meaningful mind lately, but I can tell you I've been improving. For years of not wanting to love money as much as I do.. I went into WINZ today and they told me they're slashing my benifit by another $40..... and you know what? I didn't bat an eyelid. I realised that when you love money it's gonna kick you in the pants. I've been trying to figure out what Jesus meant when He said that life is more than the food you eat and the clothes you wear.

Just to love life... what does that mean in practical terms?

I think deep down we know what we really want. For me my dreams reveal to me my deepest desires. The other night I dreamt I bought a big pot, put it by my door and planted a lavender plant in it.

So I acted on my dream, trying to put a bit of paridise into my reality.

I think our blogs also reveal how we wish our lives were.

For instance we present our photos by cropping and colour inhancing like this.,..

... when the reality is more like this...

Im not sad, I'm not suicidal, but for me I know my deepest desires will never be met this side of heaven. My dreams tell me that every time I wake up each morning and they quickly fade back into my subconscious.

But there's work here for me, and I have no choice. So here I am... looking forward to a time when my deepest desires are met... Heaven... bring it on!

Origin of the Species

I'm reading about ten books at the moment. I start new ones before I finish the old ones... and now I'm trying to get them all finished.

I just finished this one and let me tell you, the cover is very, very, VERY misleading.

The famous Origin of the Species by Charles Darwin, where he allegedly puts forth a theory that human beings come from apes. I was on the edge of my seat in the last chapter. "When is he going to get to the monkeys part, WHEN?" After about 560 pages of hard going stuff, the sum total of even mentioning anything about human beings is 3 sentences. Twice he kinda slips in a mention of the human hand compared with a bat, and on the second to last page he says something like ... We will one day come to know more about human beings and their history. Sorry, that's obviously not an exact quote, the book is in the car and I cant be bothered getting it. But pretty much, THAT"S IT!!

I also just want to say, that I was expecting him to be an arrogant prat, pushing his theory down our throats like so many nowadays do... but no. He seemed to be pretty good guy, putting down his theory tentatively and fairly attempting to answer obvious objections to his claims. Pretty cool guy really, and very knowledgeable.

My own belief is that first we decide what we believe, then we put forth facts to support our belief. There are scientists who have become Christians after examining the evidence, and scientists who are firmly aethiests.

There's evidence for both camps, whichever you decided is your own "act of faith".

Church Garage Sale this Saturday. I got busy :) Painting and making cupcakes!

A nice little touch to add to my toiletry bags for the women's refuge. I hope it will mean something to at least one mum.

Just need a couple more things and theyre all ready to go for Christmas :)

That question

I didn't realise it was one of the most universal questions of mankind. Why does a all-good all-powerfull God allow such pain and evil in the world. Makes me feel a bit unoriginal. But I heard a sermon on Radio Rhema that made two good points.

1. If this is a world of people born into sin, why is there not a whole society of Jack the Rippers? Maybe God is already preventing way more evil than we realise.

2. This life is just the precursor to the next one. This could be the closest thing to heaven that some people may ever experience, and the closest thing to hell that some people may ever experience.

I went to the bach and dug up these...

 and cleared this, BUT...

how the heck do I get rid of THIS?

A massive Toitoi bush all on my own?

Little by little I'm guessing. (The picture doesn't do it justice. It's massive)

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Also, thanks to my friends Dana Walker, Gloria Zeigler and Julia Harkness I have a whole lot of goodies to stick in my Toiletry bags for the womens refuge. Especially Dana who added a whole lot of goodies I wouldnt have thought of... like emery boards, tissues, lip gloss and even combs! I'm sure they will be really appreciated :)